Weirdly Quiet and Quietly Weird.

thatbennybee:

I heard this audio and immediately went to start animating it

jame7t:

jame7t:

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

burningdisarm:

in this world it’s slay or be slorn

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

beardedmrbean:

(via unclefather)

funnytwittertweets:

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

a-real-horse:

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

justprettygay:

should-be-sleeping:

should-be-sleeping:

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

unclefather:

Life is a seaqence of clams

flanneldragon:

elysiadragon:

flanneldragon:

pochowek:

yall like “I wanna die” like a broken record but a buncha clowns come over wanting to kill you and youre all shitting your pants. hypocrites you are

the day i let fuckin bozo stab me to death is the day i die, pal

well yeah thats how being stabbed to death works

dont make fun of me dude what if a girl sees this

(via transeliot)

So we can have unprotected sex but I can’t sleep over???? I’ll respect it girl but I’m just saying if it’s already happening might as well just let me stay.

Me: are you coming to trivia tomorrow

Coworker 1: I don’t know, I’m trying not to *completely* abandon my husband

Coworker 2: … well he’s not cool and he can’t hang so are you coming or what